Tuesday, July 28

3 Ways To Pleasure Your PizzaGirl

Don't play hard to get: i like house numbers in giant neon lights, but will except anything that can be easily read from street level at night. Be at home, be reachable by phone

Give me just the tip not a stiff: start at $3 increase by $1 if you live far from the store. Increase by $1 if you made special requests and I got them all right. Feel free to increase for any other reason (you're feeling generous, you think I'm hot, etc). Remember that almost any bad customer behavior can be smoothed over with a good tip.

Don't be a dick: I don't think you're funny (unless you're tipping well), I'll be nice to you and I expect the same, and if you invite me inside (unless you're a little old lady with a broken arm calling me Mamushka) I will think you want to lure me to my death.

Damn straight this came from my iPhone


Anonymous said...

Do people really try to turn a pizza delivery into comedy hour? Are there regular jokes people use? THEY INVITE YOU IN?

This is all slightly horrifying to me.

They should issue tasers to you with that cool magnetic sign that goes atop your car.

At any rate, now that I know proper delivery etiquette, I will be the talk of the pizzeria.

Unknown said...

Yes, I've had people invite me in, including one that I'm pretty sure would have hurt me had I accepted. While the majority of robberies and/or murders in pizza delivery don't occur because the driver went in the house, I still won't place myself in that vulnerable of a situation. I carry pepper spray in case I need it though in pepper spray vs. gun I still lose.