Thursday, October 30

10/29 Stats

I made my first pizza last night. My manager was on the phone with some b*tch that had called to complain and try to get pizza no less than 3 times. Apparently she ordered a pizza and we made it on the wrong crust, so she called back and we re-made the pizza, but not before the manager called her back and verified the whole order with her mother who okayed it. Then, she calls and says that the order is still wrong and wants it remade and redelivered again. Of course my manager says that she won't because she verified the order. The girl declines any courtesy discount on her next pizza because she wants it free. Then, the girl calls back again and from what I could tell, they had the exact same conversation. So, in the mean time, pizzas to be made are backing up and I decide to start making pizzas because somewhere in the mess of complicated charts there must be some clue about the secrets of pizza-making. I can 100% confirm that the charts on the wall hold very little secrets even if you can find the chart that refers to the pizza you happen to be making (that is if you can figure out what you're supposed to be making in the first place from the two letter abbreviations on the computer screen).

I also got to sample our new Six Cheese pizza, which is essentially a regular cheese pizza with some extra seasonings sprinkled on top after it comes out of the oven. The funny thing is that it is actually really delicious. The seasoning adds a citrus-like flavor which doesn't sound good, but is. Of course, I'm not going to pay extra for them to sprinkle some seasoning on top.

When did it not become second nature to wash hands before touching other people's food? I watched a delivery guy who was working the oven poke at the top of a pizza to figure out what toppings were on it. Also, we were running short on pizza makers, so a couple of delivery guys went to help out (I was running out the door with a delivery) and I had to remind both of them to go wash their hands before they touched the food. Also there are constantly pizza makers running to answer the phones and then going right back to making pizza. Gross! I'm so glad that our ovens are hot enough to kill any germs. Now if I could just get the guys to keep their fingers out of the pizza.

Last night I...
Drove 29 miles for 4 deliveries,
Averaged 23.7 miles per gallon,
Received $19.22 in tips ( 4 , 4* , 8.22 , 3),
and essentially made $11.66 an hour.
*I am not including this in my good tip category because it was on a $66 order, making a measly 6% which is unacceptable.

Tuesday, October 28

We Really Are a Decent Bunch

I love little kids so much. Especially ones that want to be a Pizza Delivery Man for Halloween. Here's today's Dear Abbey featuring a really awesome Pizza Dude and an awesome little kid.

Saturday, October 25

10/25 and Betrayed by Indian Gentleman

It only took one day for Indian Gentleman to go from one of my favorite employees (despite the fact that I had to ask him to repeat himself every time, sometimes two or three times because he talks to quietly and with a thick accent) to the top of my sh*t list. This morning we were the only two drivers and there were three orders on the board, two of which were ready, one was not. He assigned himself the first two even though they were not in the same neighborhood (not even on the same side of the freeway) and when I called him on it he didn't apologize, he didn't offer to unasign himself, he just shrugged his shoulders and took them both.

Then, later, we were the only two drivers in the store and there were two on the board. He was up first (though apparently he had been signed in even though he wasn't in the store yet, so I technically got in the store about two minutes before him and he was first up on the board) and his order came up, the 2nd order up was a huge cash order that was time sensitive. He argued with me that he got the 2nd order because he got to the store second. That has never been how dispatch worked! Somehow he decided that today he got to take whichever orders he pleased. I was super pissed, so I abandoned him on the cutting station. All 18 of his pizzas were coming out one after the other, two at a time, and I'm sure he could have used some help getting them boxed and cut, but I was just too busy bagging my two pizzas he stuck me with. I may have also neglected to mention that the road that looks like it goes straight to his destination on the map actually dead ends into a meadow and you have to go a completely different direction from the start to get there. Let's just say, he didn't get the pizzas to the party on time. I hope they stiffed him.

I was so mad after the second incident that I stopped by Sonic for a half price soda so that I could chill a minute and a driver cut me off causing me to slam on my breaks and spill my soda all over my car and a good amount on my pants, all of which would never have happened had I been taking the big order (which would have been ontime if I'd have taken it).

Then, there was another driver and she was first, and her order came up and it was in the same neighborhood as another, so she was going to take both of them until he went crying to the manager that they weren't on the same street so he should get to take one. For some reason, this manager always takes his side, so she let him. Which makes a grand total of 3 deliveries that he stole (that I know of) today and one big *sshole of guy who I used to think was pretty nice.

Today I...
Drove 92 miles for 14 deliveries,
Averaged 25.2 miles per gallon,
Made $28.64 in tips (1 , .85 , 3 , 4 , 0 , 1.54 , 2.92 , 1.74 , 3.37 , 2 , 4.71 , 3 , .51),
and effectively made $11.24 an hour.

Wednesday, October 22

10/22 and the soul-less fish

We were really slow tonight. I got into an argument with one of our pizza makers (the only one that isn't in high school) about whether animals have souls or not. It started because they were making broad generalizations about people based on their zodiac signs. I am a Pisces and therefore love water, am psychic, and empathetic...except that I'm afraid of fish, can be completely dense, and am really empathetic (in such a way that I can see things from other people's points of view and therefore know when they're being complete morons). She asked me why I'm afraid of fish, and I said it was because they don't have souls. She went on to say that dogs and cats don't have souls, but I'm not afraid of them. Of course, I objected and this went on and on. I don't think either of us won in the end because I can't prove they have souls and she can't prove that she has one either.

Tonight I...
drove 35 miles for 5 deliveries,
averaged 25.7 miles per gallon,
worked 3.2 hours,
made $21.08 in tips (2 , 2 , 2.37 , 9.71 , 5),
and effectively made $13.51 an hour.

Monday, October 20

10/19 Stats


I had a lady who was so determined to give me a tip that after searching her house and her car came out carrying a hand full of quarters. I tried to tell her that it was all right, but she insisted and after getting a little flustered trying to count me out a couple bucks in quarters, just handed me all of it. It ended up being six bucks!

A guy put a zero on the tip line and gave me a dollar in quarters.

Last night I...
drove 43 miles for 12 deliveries,
averaged 22.7 miles per gallon,
worked 4.25 hours,
made $35.73 in tips (3.81 , 5 , 1 , 3.35 , 2 , 4 , 1.84 , 3 , 4.31 , 1.42 , 6 , 0),
and effectively made $16.76 an hour.

Saturday, October 18

10/18 Stats and 2 Bad 2 Good

Well, I locked my keys in the car again. At least this time my cell phone was in my pocket so I wasn't at the mercy of the person I delivered to. Of course, I was parked in front of a house with a couple of kids who taunted me from behind the window the entire time. The fun part is that that wasn't the first time I'd made myself look like a klutzy moron today. Earlier, I was getting a pizza out of the oven and I knocked down the big bottle of garlic sauce that was sitting on the edge of the counter (where it should not have been) and it fell and exploded garlic sauce all over the back of another girl's pants. In an ironic twist of fate, this was the same girl that happened to pick up the phone when I called to let them know that I had locked my keys in the car.

I saw a guy with a really cool earring. It looked like he had literally taken a brass screw and driven it through his ear. I would think that it would be hard to sleep on with it poking into the side of his face. He was pretty grumpy. He looked at me like I was crazy when I didn't have coins on me to give him change. He had a $17 and change bill and gave me a 20, I gave him two dollar bills back and he stared at me for like 20 seconds than said (in a very annoyed tone), "You can keep the change." Thanks, but no thanks Mr. 69-Cent-Tip.

I guess I should mention the bright spot of my day. The Indian Gentleman that works with me scolded me for dieting, telling me that I was the perfect size. The way he said it, I think he really meant it rather than just trying to give an ego-boost.

Today I...
drove 61 miles for 10 deliveries,
averaged 22.4 miles per gallon,
worked 6.5 hours,
made $25.33 in tips (3.14 , 2.5 , 1.69 , 3 , 2 , .69 , 2.94 , 2 , 3 , 4.37),
and effectively made $10.77 an hour.

Wednesday, October 15

10/15 Stats and the Country Getto

I have discovered my town's ghetto. It is slightly out of our delivery area and yet I had to deliver there twice. The house was an absolutely beat down trailer in a field with about a dozen other trailers. The skirting was kicked in, the stairs were falling apart, there was several cars in various states of decay in the yard, and at lease a dozen upturned, sun bleached, discarded toys. Inside lived an angry man who never stopped yelling (maybe at the TV, maybe at the wife and kids), two sad looking children, and one trashy looking woman with a cigarette and gnarly teeth.
I took them two pizzas and they checked them and didn't complain. Got back to the store, and there was another pizza waiting there for them. My manager said they called and said the toppings were wrong and I needed to take them the replacement pizza. I also needed to tell them that they are out of our delivery area and would have to carry out from now on.

So I drive the new pizza out to the house (which is out of our delivery area for a reason), and the first thing the lady says was, "I hope they didn't tell you that I yelled and screamed about you." I'm not sure if she was trying feel out if I spit in her food or if she knew that she had really been a bitch to my manager. I told her I was okay with the whole thing and that we figured out why her street isn't in our system, and she treated me like I had blacklisted her because she complained. Personally, I think that she wanted an extra pizza without paying for it, so she called and complained thinking that they'd send a different driver. She is responsible for the "x" in my tip section.
I had to call animal control on a couple of dogs tied up in someone's driveway.
My pen broke. The good one that clips nicely to my polo so that I don't have to keep it in my pocket. I'm hoping that I can locate all of the pieces in my car and maybe super-glue it back together.

Today I...
drove 39 miles for 5 deliveries,
averaged 25.5 miles per gallon,
worked 3 hours,
made $10.21 in tips (3 , x , .44 , 2.50 , 4.27),
and effectively made $10.22 an hour.

Sunday, October 12

10/12 What A Day

Never a dull day.

I had several giggly 15 year old girls answer the door dressed as hookers and squealing, "It's a girl driver! Oh my God, get dressed." The situation was amusing, the girls were annoying.

This guy in one of the rich neighborhoods had some sort of designer dog that looked like a horribly inbred Chow. I swear I did a double take because I thought he had a capibara that just had awesomely luxurious fur.

I locked my keys in the car and had to hoof it to the front of the neighborhood I was in while my husband came to bring me his keys. I felt like a moron, especially when one of the other delivery drivers stopped to see if they could help.

Today I...
Drove 87 miles for 18 deliveries,
Averaged 22.1 miles per gallon,
Worked 7 hours
Got $54.33 in tips (2 , 4 , 2 , 5 , 3 , 0 , .96 , 5.28 , 4 , .10 , 2.44 , 3.10 , 4.44 , 4 , 1 , 5.12 , 3 , 4)
and was effectively paid $13.47 an hour.

Saturday, October 11

10/10 and 10/11 stats

Last night I...
Drove 64 miles for 10 deliveries,
Averaged 25.1 miles per gallon,
Worked 5 hours,
Got $25.18 in tips (5 , 2 ,0 , 3.01 , 2.28 , 5.97 , 0 , 3 , 3.92 , 2.28),
and was effectively paid $10.86 per hour.

My customer of the day got $40 in pizza comped from the manager and couldn't even manage to muster a couple of bucks for a tip.

Today I...
Drove 109 miles for 24 deliveries (The big Texas v. OU game was on today. Hook em!)
Averaged 22 miles per gallon,
Worked 9 hours,
Got $66.82 in tips (0 , 3.77 , 5 , 1.25 , 2.75 , 5 , 2.28 , 2.73 , 1.15 , 0 , 2 , 9.63 , 2 , 1.53 , 6.85 , 4 , 1.18 , 0 , 3.44 , 1.91 , 2 , 1.97 , 3 , 3.38),
and was effectively paid $13.40 an hour.

My customer of the day goes to a very stoned gentlemen who was obviously just conscious enough to know that he couldn't count money if he tried and just handed me $40 for a bill that came to a little over $30 and told me to keep the change. Note to self: Volunteer to deliver on any order that includes Mountain Dew.

I burned my finger on a really hot pan coming out of the pizza oven, which I might add I should not be going near anyway as I have absolutely no training on it. I realize it is a pretty simple contraption, but for liability sake they should definitely walk everyone through and say, "Don't touch very hot things, don't run, don't flash your money around like you're in Vegas," etc.

Friday, October 10

10/9/2008 Stats

Before I give my stats I guess I should mention somewhere that I love data and graphs.  I have decided to calculate my effective wages based on the following formulas:
Wages + Tips + Mileage Reimbursement - Cost of gas = Take Home w/o Tax
12%(Wages + Tips + Mileage Reimbursement - (Difference between Mileage Reimbursement and Standard Federal Reimbursement Rate of .585 per mile)) = Taxes
Take Home w/o Tax - Taxes = Effective Pay
Effective Pay / Hours Worked = Dollars Per Hour
I should note that I make $6.00 an hour base pay and $1.20 mileage reimbursement per delivery.
Last night I...
Drove 26 miles for 5 deliveries,
Averaged 22.2 miles per gallon,
Worked 5 hours,
Got $9.42 in tips ($1.77, $2.50, $4.15, and $1 in quarters!!!!),
and was effectively paid $8.30 per hour.
Weirdest customer:  A lady with horrendous painted-on eyebrows.  I couldn't stop staring at them!

First Day on the Job

Last night was my first pizza delivery shift and besides being extremely tired, I'm kind of excited about making some extra $$$. I'm considering pretending that I'm running around with a wad of ones because I'm a stripper instead of a pizza girl (not sure if anyone would believe me though). Speaking of not being confused for a stripper, I think this is going to be extremely helpful in my weight-loss efforts because 1. I'm not vegetating on the couch watching TV and playing my Gameboy and 2. I'm pretty sure this is going to almost ruin me on pizza because the nasty puddles of grease off the pepperoni are seriously nauseating.

I only screwed up one order, I forgot a pizza (which was mislabeled) and had to drive all the way back to the store to get it and got stuck behind a train. Luckily she had already tipped with her online order. Speaking of which, I completely got cheated out of a $5 tip because if they don't put it in online they have to use cash, i.e. they can't write it on the receipt like they can at Dominos.

On the bright side, I didn't have to use my pepper spray even once.

I work again tonight, so we'll see if this gets any easier.

Wednesday, October 8

Before My First Shift

I have my first shift as a pizza girl tomorrow. I'll be working at a Corporate Chain in a suburb of Austin, Tx. I've never delivered pizza, so expect some interesting posts. Mainly I'm really interested in finding out if this is indeed profitable and if it is true that girls make better tips. I plan on chronicling how much I'm making, how much I'm spending, and weird customers I meet. Hopefully I will not be chronicling any robberies. I'm a little scared about the danger involved with the job, but my town doesn't really have any seedy neighborhoods yet, so I'm hoping I won't be one of the 9.5 out of every 100,000 food delivery people killed on the job.