12/26 Chip's Buck Stop

The weekend after Christmas was slow and the Christmas generosity seemed to have already seeped out of the population of my small town, or maybe I just lack the Christmas cheer to imagine that people were any different than at any other time of the year (I'm a bit of a Grinch). Shitty tippers just seem shittier at Christmas.

Take my usual verbal-tipper for example. She profusely thanks me every Saturday when I deliver to her and never tips. I forgot her soda this Saturday and didn't go to bring it back to her until I had another delivery to take with it. I know she doesn't understand why I'm not nicer to her, why I don't return her thanks with smiles. She is the kind that tipping-education might do some good. Might. She might just be a jerk. Either way, I've wasted many minutes delivering her pizza and never gotten a cent for it. And she won't get any smiles from me.

On my way back from a $5 tipper a woman marched into the middle of the road to berate me for driving too quickly on her street while there were children present. I was polite but not apologetic, I wasn't driving quickly or unsafely, I knew exactly where those children were at all times and they had the good sense to get out of the road when a car was coming. She thought I'd be scared if she threatened me that her son was law-enforcement (there was a sheriff car parked outside the house) and she'd give him my license plate number. I think she fails to understand law-enforcement only works if I was breaking a law.

On the fun side, I delivered to a wild-game processor. I joke about delivering to places with lots of knives and a floor drain to wash away my blood, but this place actually has it. Not only that but it's down a long, narrow drive carved out of hedge and bordered on both sides by fences. Good thing it was the middle of the day.

In total I took 9 deliveries, 4 were good tips, one was acceptable, and 4 were unacceptable (two stiffs). I walked out with $38 and an average tip of $2.88.