1/15 Soggy Socks

It was a cold and rainy Friday night in Podunk, Tx. Pizza Girl was tired from a long day of corporate grunt-work and looking forward to making some money and saving hungry, good tipping people from having to get out in the rain to get dinner (Ok, fine, "looking forward to" may not be the most appropriate phrase, but she was at least resigned to it). There was just one problem; having had an extremely early morning she had worn her favorite shoes, her beautiful tan checked Vans, the ones that are not rainproof, and in fact the left one seemed to have developed a microscopic fissure in the sole earlier in the morning, allowing moisture to seep in and invade her sock. It is also a fact that Pizza Girl counts soggy socks as one of the top five worst sensations ever (along with the feel of sliced ham). She has even been known to insist that trips to amusement parks be water-ride free* (as those of you who frequent amusement parks already know, sock-free footwear is not conducive to long days of waiting in line and therefore is not an option).

So, it's easy to imagine that she was not in the best mood when Army Cook decided to start checking things out to her without her permission; and I'm sure you'll understand her harsh treatment of him as Army Cook was merely the latest in a chain of managers to try to cheat her (purposefully or not) out of money. She was even less optamistic about the evening after two customers in a row used their own pens to sign the credit card receipts. No one knows what motivates these people, but it seems as if they knock a $1 off of the tip since the driver didn't provide the additional service of pen-lending.

But she saw a glimmer of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining in the storm clouds. Though the rain would make her cold and soggy, this very fact would bring out the natural altruism in people and they would open their pocketbooks. They would not only see a person with hot, delicious food, but also the cold, wet creature that they summoned without a second thought. Like this:

and hopefully not this:


Alas, she was disproven after taking two quads, there was only one person who tipped more than average and that person is one of those amazing customers who always tips $5 (and who Pizza Girl appreciates come rain or come shine).

The moral of this story: Wear better shoes, don't expect people to think beyond themselves and empathize with the person standing on their doorstep, and spend your tip-money ($40 off of 10 total deliveries) on booze.

*She told me to tell you she's not a complete jerk. It is possible, should enough people in the party desire to go on the water rides despite the logistical problems (and the fact that real roller coasters are more fun and there are plenty of parks wholly devoted to water-play for which the footwear dillema does not apply) that arrangements can be made to change shoes at lunch and go on the water-rides in the afternoon.